This is me - sung to Tubeway Army

I walk real fast,
but sometimes I'm slow to react,
taking a few leaps,
and a few steps back.

I don't feel alone,
got my friends,
but when I'm surrounded,
isolation sets in.

So here I sit,
reading a book to myself,
understanding more,
that I know less and less,
about me, about you.

So off I go,
down the hall,
off and farther down,
down another street.

What you may ask,
is the use of dreams,
if the time of waking,
can't dream.

thinking lullaby

Do you sing when you drink? A lullaby for what you think?
Do you know yourself so well, do you think?
That your words will be remembered past tha' drink?
Stumble home, all alone,
past strangers wary,
who don't condone,
your choice of drinkin'
all alone.
Yet strangers share,
through look and stare,
that feeling laid bare,
oh let them stare.
And make witness,
I exist,
if not now,
then when remissed,
and
thus I'll live forever,
though dismissed,
as strange,
a stranger,
passed and noted,
talked of remotely,
vicariously,
my dreams wished.

petri dish

I wonder if we were ameba,
How we'd travel in a dish,
I wonder if we were so simple,
What we'd seek, who'd we'd kiss.

Consume until we conquer,
Consume until we divide,
Consume what the gods have gave us,
Examining us on the slide.

Do they view us as we do ourselves?
Do we know they exist?
Observations through a scope,
Do ameba kiss?

Do we surround to love,
Or is our love consumption?
Or do we touch and become aware,
Of another's desires and functions?

Are we the ameba,
Or in lab coats?
Is love being observed,
Or only experienced?

Unaware of what we are,
Are the answers,
As important,
As our experience?

Odds Are

So what gets me,
isn't that you find me attractive,
and place kisses upon me

It is that we,
no longer desire,
kisses from anyone but us.

No casual sighting,
or furtive glance,
would put you at odds,
with me knowing,
I was first.

Never to be thrown aside,
for something better,
or to feel like,
I was something less.

1:51

One fifty one
time changes now
no more ticking of the clock
electrons dance
and i measure
time in visuals
when sounds have halted

Another minute done
time changes now
is even tick? Is odd tock?
take a chance
and in feathers
time individual
when thoughts have halted

pollen

How long did I wait,
for you to bloom,
when did the first,
buds grow?

Did the florist,
gather the buds,
hungrily lusting,
for the flower?

Or was the wisdom,
of waiting,
of knowing,
what was to come,
the building of joy,
in certain knowledge,
beauty contained,
for all to not see,
to busy,
with the forest?

I smelled the tell tale signs,
before I could see,
drawn to the new beauty of it all.

Now - late in season,
beauty gone to seed,
I smelled the musty wind,
of love's spoiled beauty.

Still,
seasons come,
and we may witness,
the seeds we left,
may yet need,
solitude,
to start again.

How old do they feel?
The ones knowing,
of the seeds before them?
How young,
the ones unaware,
they are seeds?
How comforted,
the ones that know,
seeds after them?

How long,
did will you wait,
for winter's passage?

Realize

Did you realize,
that these memories,
of another life,
of the things,
and places,
not here,
but there,
anywhere,
but here,
dreamed,
never had,
not here,
imagined places,
no one else lived,
for you did not make them,
those memories,
unrealized.

Looking

Looking,
out the window of a hotel bedroom again,
not some song,
but reality.

Looking,
outside myself again,
not the same person,
in reality.

Looking,
outside in,
at grace, at sin,
stark reality.

Looking,
for where you've been,
if time might mend,
scars inside of me.

Looking,
a watchers end,
writings I never send,
no words for thee.

Space

All this time,
and your imagination,
holds you more firmly down,
than gravity.

You imagining your fears,
not the possibility,
not the possible fantasy,
of finding another world together.

It could all be true,
and the dark unknown,
and the fear of not knowing,
keeps you from me.

If I were color,
I'd be sun fiery red,
the color of passion,
like when we are in bed,

and yet,

I wonder,
if suns shine,
and no one is there to see it,
do they?

Youandme

You didn't have to be lonely last night,
you didn't have to be anything,
you just had to be,
yourself,
you,
me,
myself,
me just there,
my feelings if it meant anything,
ours, mine and yours, shared last night.

Time flies

The whose,
and the whys,
and tha,
..., ...;

Tha food,
and the flies,
and tha,
..., ...;

Tha dudes,
and the lies,
and tha,
huh, uhuh;

Too much damn integrity,
no morals when in bed with me,
something someone said to me,
and tha,
and tha;

Loosing comprehension,
staring at gas colors,
on water's tension,
where the fuck,
did all the time go?

Now back to reality,
is it real - whats' inside of me?
Or did it die with you,
so long ago?

Past

And the time,
we were away,
a time of we,
was the time,
jokingly,
my heart thrown aside,
for a glance,
a crotch,
told me all,
about where I sat,
about our time together,
about what mattered.

Years past,
and even now,
something,
no note to you,
pulls down my heart.

And the pictures,
where is the proof,
you ever laid your arms upon me,
what suggested,
to anyone,
you wished to keep me near?

The only proof,
I have,
is the weight,
of my heart.

Flirt

When strangers grace you with poetry,
when a smile begins to bloom,
how can you not be uplifted,
and float upon the reflective waters,
playful in the surf of words?

What friend's eyes,
that tied to the heart,
employing lust and infatuation,
leads us to discover?

Hmm

Change of pace:

Devil's Done

The devil's done sold the secret to seduction,
behind showcases of glass and lights,
that chip on your shoulder might be your handbag,
but don't you look good going out at night.

You know it looks good,
so it must be good,
no mistaking quality when you see it.

You know it looks good,
so it must be good,
your soul waiting for the coin to free it.

Those boots were designed for walking,
on the backs of the poor,
what a shame when they reach out to you for comfort,
you can't see - blinded by lust's allure

You know it looks good,
so it must be good,
no mistaking quality when you see it.

You know it looks good,
so it must be good,
your soul waiting for the coin to free it.

The devil's done sold the recipe to seduction,
to feed our hunger's hungry need,
no time to judge what we've made,
even the devil himself has to feed.

That Day

Because a man,
was afraid of another man,
he left him behind,
not hearing what he had to say,
he lost his wallet that day.

Because a man,
was afraid of another man,
he left him behind,
not hearing what he had to say,
he lost his love that day.

Because a man,
was afraid,
him was he,
not hearing himself,
he lost himself that day.

Because a man,
was afraid of the unknown,
he kept to himself,
knowing hell on earth,
he lost his soul that day.

Because a man,
was afraid of fear,
he gave up freedom,
for safety,
he lost his way that day.

What To Do?

What to do what to do,
when the sheets,
they still smell like you do?

And now,
when I realize,
the days have turned too.
...
years,
sitting looking out the window,
where did the time go.
...
fears,
keeping me inside, yo,
wondering where did the time go.

What to do what to do,
when the pillow,
it still smells like you do?

I know,
clean smelling and still sweaty,
smell of you full and heady.
...
Unknown,
if you even think the same,
view my lusts with disdain.
...
Unforgiven,
I asked and you said yes,
what's left I can't guess.

What to do what to do,
when the past,
it still reminds me of you?

I Never

I never asked you if you loved me,
because I was afraid you'd run away.
I never asked you if you stay with me,
because I never found a way,
to trust you more,
than I trust in fear,
too late to look for more,
now that you're not here.

Ohoh I-e-eye,
saw right through you.
Ohoh I-e-eye,
never knew what to do.

I never know when,
I'm going to do it again.
You never new when,
a little loss was a gain,
to trust you more,
than I trusted fear,
too late to look,
knowing you're not here.

Ohoh I-e-eye,
saw right to you.
Ohoh I-e-eye,
believe you were true.

Ohoh I--eye Never,
no, never, never,
I-e-eye never,
tru-ly be-leiveevd.

Better now that I can,
exist in denial.
Better that then always,
heeding your heartfelt guile,
to trust you more,
than you trusted your self,
to lust once more,
and again hate myself.

Oh-oh I-e-eye-ee,
never believed in fairy tales,
but I-e-eye-ee,
dreamed you'd fight for me,
tooth and nail,
oh-oh Eye-EE,
never knew that I needed you,
and Eye-ee, ne-eh-ver...

Lone Lie Ness

Lone-ly-ness

Spending time, in the company of stra-ang-gers

Lone-ly-ness

So detached, that you never see the dang-gers

Lone-ly-ness
Hmm uhm hmm hmmum

Lone-lyn-ness

You know it doesn't have to be this way-a-ay

Truth-ful-ness

Lying to yourself, just waiting for the day-a-ay

Self-ish-ness

What you want, what you need, can sometimes be the sa-ay-ame



Could of been, that you were simply wasting ti-igh-ime

Lone-lyn-ness

'cept you know, that you've caught yourself a'lie-ing

Lone-ly-ness

when alone, and the feel-lings make you cry-and

Lone-ly-ness
Hmm uhm hmm hmmum

Lone-lyn-ness

You know it doesn't have to be this way-a-ay

Truth-ful-ness

Lying to yourself, just waiting for the day-a-ay

Self-ish-ness

What you want, what you need, can sometimes be the sa-ay-ame



Now ya' think, on the time before to-day-ay-hay

Lone-lyn-ness
Hmm uhm hmm hmmum

Oppor-tunites lost-, things you wish you'd have say-a-ay'd

Lone-lyn-ness
Hmm uhm hmm hmmum

Lone-lyn-ness

You know it doesn't have to be this way-a-ay

Truth-ful-ness

Lying to yourself, just waiting for the day-a-ay

Self-ish-ness

What you want, what you need, can sometimes be the sa-ay-ame

Lone-lyn-ness

You know it doesn't have to be this way-a-ay

Truth-ful-ness

Lying to yourself, just waiting for the day-a-ay

Self-ish-ness

What you want, what you need, can sometimes be the sa-ay-ame

Innocence & Dreams

You were beautiful,
and the little things we shared,
now litter your life,
waiting to cleaned and organized,
into the new you,
the new place,
a place free of clutter,
free of memories.

Boxes,
littered with time and events,
one or two things of value,
kept just in case,
memory fails to serve.

The stars sat above and watched,
watched as you did the things you did,
noted how it was,
staring unnoticed, without comment,
still shedding a faint light,
for those who take the time,
let the mind and heart adjust,
to their reflections.

And my heart wished it was there,
there in the sky,
watching you, over you,
with cold dispassionate interest.

Lest it be said,
the cold darkness of space,
holds no emotion, holds only stark truth,
I remind you we stars,
we are suns,
burning with fire,
the stuff of innocence and dreams.

Sin City

Lovers without love,
crawling about,
staying near the shadows
of denial.

Running from sight,
from obligation,
from admission,
of their presence.

Looking for sustenance,
feeding on the leftovers,
crumbs of souls,
no longer of interest.

The Hook Up

Is this what it felt like being penetrated,
enduring until my lust was sated,
receiving definitely overrated,
better to give than to receive.

Stranger gone and now self is hated,
If lust was gone I could have waited,
Thoughts of lover's love now abated,
Satisfied now when they leave.

When the hunt begins the loins elated,
Craving mind until body mated,
Surely this isn't what love's fate is,
If only you were to believe.

Burn-In

So difficult to hold still.
Like some teenage nightmare,
I'm at school naked.
Feeling naked here alone with you.

That is how vulnerable I feel,
sitting here holding still.

Gone.
Now I know what I don't got,
How can I be here with you,
when you still are not?

That is how vulnerable I feel,
sitting here holding still.

Visit me sometime?
I kissed your face before when you were sleeping.
I stored the picture for my keeping.
Will you visit me sometime?

I looked directly at you,
the view burned in my mind.

I can't look directly at you,
the view burns my mind.

And when the night,
Brings you to my dreams,
How wonderful it'll seem.

And when the dawn,
Comes and takes you from my arms,
your memory burns inside of me.

Will You Remember Me?

I want to hold out my arms,
And have you help roll up my sleeves,
I want to hold out my arms,
And hold you til everyone believes,
You're the one for me.

I want to fold you in my arms,
And have a little break from worry,
I want to fold you in my arms,
And bask naked in your glory,
You know you're the one for me.

You thrill me when you offer your hand,
And help me keep my steady,
You thrill me when you offer your hand,
And always at the ready,
I know you're there for me.

All the little touches,
Sum greater than the parts,
All the little touches,
Some so touch my heart,
That you so know me.

Even the fairy tales fade,
When no one stays past stories end,
Fantasies & romantic words once said,
In the back of the mind soon forgotten.

Whore's Wagon

Took pleasure in your company,
But seems you preferred more than I,
Found you out there,
But I'll not be the other guy.

No chance to be around,
When not there out of sight,
You put me down,
Lies are your truth and that's not right.

Can't pretend it didn't matter,
Tried to be selfless for you,
You can't twist this to your purpose,
You haunt the dead you know this is true.

You won't let anyone love you,
And still we try and do,
Abandon yourself again,
Remember who first abandoned who.

Get My Fix

I'm no love junkie,
way past withdrawal,
wouldn't want to score the stuff,
if you've seen what I saw.

The first bit is free,
a sample is took,
the drug that is me,
already we're hooked.

I'm no love junkie,
way past withdrawal,
wouldn't want to score the stuff,
if you've seen what I saw.

Shoot it in man,
give me that fix,
what a rush man,
this stuff is sick.

Mad rush when you're around,
your presence ecstasy,
I'd rush for another score,
if I could afford what you did to me.

I'm no love junkie,
way past withdrawal,
wouldn't want to score the stuff,
if you've seen what I saw.

Clean now for awhile,
one day at a time,
avoiding temptation,
alone all the time.

I'm no love junkie,
way past withdrawal,
wouldn't want to score the stuff,
if you've seen what I saw.

Called But Didn't Leave

Don't want to leave a message,
and have you get back to me.
Though I'd like your attentions,
I don't need your sympathy.

Get back to me,
can it be,
you'd ever get back to me?

I guess that's all,
so screen your calls,
Guess that is what's left of what was or will be.

Back to me,
you and me,
not here so,
will you get back to me?

Don't wanna leave a message,
and have you get back to me.

Perspective On the Whole

Where one begins,
no one ends.
The edge,
cannot touch the center.

I don't,
but you do.
I will,
but you wish!

Many perspectives,
all in one mind.
Single-minded purpose,
left all behind.

Where one begins,
no one ends.
The edge,
cannot touch the center.

I can't,
but you can.
Different,
is what I am.

One peace in time,
is in all seasons.
One piece of time,
isn't seeing reason.

Where one begins,
no one ends.
The edge,
cannot touch the center.

Different,
thus so are you.
The same as me,
an thus different too.

You might,
you might not.
Together we could,
alone we can't
We should,
you and I.

Where one begins,
no one ends.
The edge,
cannot touch the center.

Elements

Like a shining star,
base elements,
sparkle and shine,
because for a time it's mine.

And when tha sky-igh
sig-ighs
and lets, tha tears, fall dow_a_wn

Will the ear-rth
Bur-urst
Forth with love, now that heavens come t'ground?

And fire, fire is there,
waiting for the wind,
washed with tear's waters,
ground to begin.

And when tha sky-igh
sig-ighs
and lets, tha tears, fall dow_a_wn

Will the ear-rth
Bur-urst
Forth with love, now that heavens come t'ground?

Salt of the earth,
mixed with tears,
Seas created,
in but a few short years.

And when tha sky-igh
sig-ighs
and lets, tha tears, fall dow_a_wn

Will the ear-rth
Bur-urst
Forth with love, now that heavens come t'ground?

Caresses of wind,
remembering the past,
but you can't hold on.
The touch never lasts.

And when tha sky-igh
sig-ighs
and lets, tha tears, fall dow_a_wn

Will the ear-rth
Bur-urst
Forth with love, now that heavens come t'ground?

How many miles,
will I go by myself?
How will I smile,
when I don't know anything else?

And when tha sky-igh
sig-ighs
and lets, tha tears, fall dow_a_wn

Will the ear-rth
Bur-urst
Forth with love, now that you've come t'ground?

Thought About It

Thought about buying you a yellow rose,
to let you know I still think of us as friends,
then I thought about buying you red roses,
to let you know I didn't want it to end.

So I bought you one of each,
because I didn't know what to say,
just take the one you still want,
and just throw the other away.

Take care and the one you want will bloom,
a gift from you that was mine,
don't worry about the other thrown away,
it will certainly wilt and fade in time.

Today I...

Today I remember,
and I miss you.

Today I remember,
when I'd kiss you.

Today I remember,
then the memories seem few.

Today I remember,
the good memories of you.
_

Middle Bedroom

And in my travels,
alone on the road,
I see the seat beside me,
and know you can never go home.

There was a time,
when I'd enjoy going anywhere,
tribute to a better time,
when you were with me.

There was a place,
innocent in love,
I held your hand and kissed your face,
with you still with me.

Now I know I don't know,
much of anything,
don't know what tomorrow brings,
but I know I loved you.

Time. Never enough time,
to work it out,
scream and shout,
or think and find,
a way to make up.

Pine Trees

Is it alright if I just lay here awhile?

I seem to have lost all my will.
I don't have any place to be,
or anyone to see,
nothing but time left to kill.

So I'll stay right here.

No dreams of endless possibilities,
no forests just the tree,
and a place all alone.
Alone among many.

Perhaps I can get my mind off of me.

Still if I was a tree,
what tree would I be?
But of course I'd be a pine!
I made that too easy.

I'll keep talking if I can hold you here.

Is it alright if I keep you?
Do you have someplace else to be?
Didn't want to remind you,
but I enjoy the company.

Is it sad to cry alone?

So I'll repress the feelings,
the ones I never lost,
I'd hope they'd wander and go missing,
that the sharpness of it would grow soft.

I wish I knew what you needed.

What worth am I now to anyone,
how might I attract your love?
How desirable is a broken soul,
and promises of what was?

I'll give it all again soon.

So much tender,
awaiting just a spark,
so much pain to burn,
alight my stubborn heart.

I'm only fooling myself.

So I've struggled with my frustrations,
against sleep and thoughts of you,
and now sleep wins again,
at least in my dreams you're true.

You Alpha Now Omega

They were your favorites
not I, not I.

No longer your favorite,
not I, not I.

Memories of favors,
I sigh, I sigh.

Pictures torn now rid of it,
I lie, I lie.

I Hurt Myself Today

Torn at like a piece of meat,
snarling mouths, hands, and teeth,
I am not a man, but a side of beef,
take it now, come have a piece.

I don't care, no morals guide me,
no thought beyond, having you inside me,
no regrets, free ride, no fee,
I give it up, with reckless glee.

Empty now, just a hole,
a piece of meat, without a soul,
rounded ass and rigid pole,
orgasm is my only goal.

No thought beyond, having you inside me,
I don't care, no morals guide me,
no regrets, free ride, no fee,
I give it up, with reckless glee.

Filthy whore, nasty pig,
I feign disdain to your dig,
your dirty talk make me hot,
sexual repartee is all I've got.

No thought beyond, having you inside me,
no regrets, free ride, no fee,
I don't care, no morals guide me,
I give it up, with reckless glee.

In search of the time before,
when love stood where now is the whore,
when that was I'm no longer sure,
I've closed those thoughts to endure.

No thought beyond, having you inside me,
no regrets, free ride, no fee,
I give it up, with reckless glee,
I don't care, no morals guide me.

Ripped Levi's

Beautiful pictures.
You asleep.
I dreamed you dreamed of me.
I still think that to this day.

I took the pictures,
unashamed.
Secretly amused,
musing at my own internal thoughts.

Thoughts of being loved,
and loving you for it.
So inconsequential now,
the loving is gone.

When loved, I fear the loving will stop.
I welcome that fear,
when it reminds me,
I have something to loose.

In The Mourning

When the mourning wakes you,
and the tears roll down,
disoriented with sleep.

When the fear takes you,
no one else around,
alone you weep.

No dreams of immortality,
death's around,
In death's service you'll keep.

Chained to your body,
pulled to the ground,
just out of death's reach.

Not gone yet; still here,
not gone yet; still; fear,
unreasonable,
at such an early hour.

Unreasonable,
and still.

Pop Rock Candy

Memories,
Of my youth.
Memories,
Of you.

Too sweet to consume,
Now in old age,
Knowing better,
than reckless sugary ecstasy.

The unobtainable high,
The addictive rush,
Fools folly,
Can't keep the high forever.

The rush gone,
Crashing, crashing down.
In my youth I could ignore it,
But now I avoid it.

Still occasionally,
A taste,
Sweet memory,
can't remember,
but never forget.

Romeo, Romeo

Checking email,
to see if you have sent,
checking voicemail,
looking a hint,
of where you are,
my time better spent.

Do you think on me,
perhaps I'll never know,
the secrets I desire,
to ask and know,
what keeps you from me,
what keeps me low.

'bout Half Right

Thought I'd hold your hand,
as you grow old,
figure it all out,
let time unfold,
well...
seems I was
'bout half right.

Now time presses on,
no respect for emotions,
no consideration,
no chance for devotion,
well...
seems I was
'bout half right.

Memories fall from sleep,
so bittersweet,
least those memories,
are mine to keep,
well...
seems I was,
'bout half right

Got to go,
can't stay and dream,
a new day,
who knows what that'll bring,
oh...
seems I was,
'bout half right.

Let It Out

God doesn't want you to be happy
said you talk to the walls too much
said you need to keep in touch
not with him but with those around you

Said he wasn't going to pass on your words
no secretary to your life work
Take the memo yourself and oh one more thing
he said to stop being a jerk

He wandered away still mumbling
which for a god seems strange
said something about never creating pain
but that we seek it out just the same

So this package arrived for me today
and I think it was gods way to say
we can say it isn't fair
but need to blame ourselves for not being there

There for each other
least I think that is what is meant
god speaks to me
not because I understand but because he needs to vent

No Poetry

A good friend asked of me,
wondering why I had sadness and dark poetry.
These things are here for all to see.
My own public therapy.
Darkness only lives without the light.
I show here I do not fear the night.
I recognize my worse fears abate,
my burdens lift when I share the weight.
Knowing someone might share my concern,
for just a moment to hope and yearn,
that someone else knows those thoughts,
once written, my own forgiveness sought.
I'm not so dark or needing help,
unwritten happiness I kept for myself.
So remember I share the gladness too,
not written here but when I'm with you!

Who Am I?

Who am I?
But someone you used to know,
Now sitting here alone.
No love that I had shown,
Helps now that you are gone.
The seed of past are sown,
No happy us at home.

Who am I?
But no, one, now.
Who am I?
But lone, ly, now.
Who am I?
Half of who, I, was.
Who am I?
Life now, placed, on pause.

Who am I?
Past strong with sense of self,
Now sorry for myself,
Sick where once was health,
A pauper in search of wealth.
In and of itself,
commentary on my mental health.

Cover Hog

Missing the aggravation,
The story in dedication,
dreams and imagination,
of cover hog and damnation.

Cover hog, alarms too early,
Drunken tears, being surly,
Simple dreams of being worldly,
Waking cold and being surly.

Dreams of someone with to argue,
Like those who love allows and can do,
Love strong so no gripe can subdue,
Cover hog I speak of you.

Love so drawn out it bent over time,
Expressions unmentioned till written in rhyme,
Cover hog cajoled in love sublime,
Season go, another year's bell toll and chime.

Happy memories of waking beside you still,
Warm connection when nights are chill,
Cover hog have you the will,
To laugh to cry to tremble and feel?

I was there and had never knew,
what joy it was to be with you,
never did I ever have to choose,
cover hog I was ever true.

Warm blankets wrapped in gentle sleep,
cold I lay, tired I weep,
no place to rest no bed so neat,
sans dream of cover hogs I keep.

Hearts In Foam

I remember,
a coffee shop,
a brief stop,
in Seattle.

Hearts in foam,
drawn then gone,
like love,
memories; but nothing to see.

Over Joy

I was overjoyed to be your man.
Felt such joy,
in just holding your hand.
Now I'm over joy,
again.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

Are you happy,
'cause when I hear from you,
you only seem angry,
I don't know what to do,
again.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

Don't want to exchange mad words anymore,
don't want to be sad anymore,
rather walk away,
than keep this game in play.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

Pick my words apart,
choose one that offends,
your words like poison darts,
poisoning the joy again.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

When you stop keeping tabs,
then you'll know how much I love you,
Throwing verbal jabs,
saying things untrue.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

You shut me down,
can't express what that did to me,
you shut me down,
you didn't believe in me.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

I got a signal,
on my phone,
but no signal,
that you're alone.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

Again, again, I'm over joy,
Didn't give up, still have love,
going to keep writing my story,
until overjoyed in love.

I was overjoyed,
gave you all my love,
now I'm over joy,
again.

A View From The River of Life

Outward expressions,
of inward transgressions,
for who am I,
but who you think I am?

Drifting on water,
away from the border,
of where earth and water meet,
drifting water,
or earth on spin,
are they different directions,
or the same my friend?

Care not for what you've had,
don't be sad.
Worry not for the river,
just be glad.

If not this river,
than another place,
if not this time,
then another space.

Don't be frightened,
if the mountains change,
far into the distance,
the view is the same.

Views I insist,
doesn't cease to exist,
but you only have memories,
when you drift away.

Who am I,
but some place and time?
And who were you,
to remember me?

Did the mountain remember your gaze?
Did you remember the sun's rays?
Did you remember my passing?
Did you remember the yesterdays?

Who are you,
but some place and time?
And who am I,
with only memories of you?

A Message

A message left,
but not returned,
friends forgot,
lovers spurned,
where two now cleft,
us now not,
bridges burned,
both bereft.

My Heart Upon Your Sleeve

I was feeling suicidal,
but only just a bit,
only wanted to kill myself a little,
so I thought I'd bleed; heart on my sleeve; this is it.

Don't want to belong to someone else,
thought I could belong to you,
so now I tell the world how I've felt,
and thought they felt it too.

so I thought I'd bleed; heart on your sleeve; this is it.

Better my diary,
left out for all to see,
than to wear,
my heart upon your sleeve.

so I thought I'd bleed; heart on your sleeve; this is it.

Tired of hinting at,
what you don't get,
going to put what i wrote,
into full effect.

Don't want to belong to someone else,
thought I could belong to you,
so now I tell the world how I've felt,
and thought they felt it too.

so I thought I'd bleed; heart on your sleeve; this is it.

Sorry I'm getting dizzy,
didn't mean to bleed on your sleeve,
just let me sit; down a bit,
rest and then I'll leave.

Now where are my belongings?
Oh I think I left them behind!
I seem to be somewhat dizzy,
I know I've lost my mind.

So I though I'd leave,
or was that bleed?
I can't find my heart,
behind your sleeves.

so I thought I'd bleed; heart on your sleeve; this is it.

Don't want to belong to someone else,
thought I could belong to you,
so now I tell the world how I've felt,
and thought they felt it too.

Slowly now,
I've lost too much,
I need a steady hand,
that'll support me.

When you saw blood,
You thought it was mine,
still beating heart,
but there isn't much time.

so I thought I'd bleed; heart on my sleeve; this is it.

Dumbass

I just want to know,
before I go,
are you happy?

I just want to know,
before I go,
and disappear.

Did you care?
Was love there?
Just want to know,
how you plan to live without me.

Just want to know,
because I don't know,
and so,
I ask you.

Just want to know,
how you forget me,
so easily?

WIP

When the horoscope,
seems to know,
more about my life,
than I do.

Walking in the snow,
cold lets you know,
you alone.

Breathing in the cold,
breathing alone,
alone I know.

When the horoscope,
seems to know,
more about my life,
than I do.

Seeing the old graduate,
makes me,
hopeful it isn't too late.

Unfocused purpose,
tell a man what his worth is,
how old are you now?

When the horoscope,
seems to know,
more about my life,
than I do.

When the horoscope,
seems to know,
more about my life,
than I do.

You know that classic stereotype,
yeah, if I'm guessing right,
you'd be the cute one.

The real attractive one,
that lives for fun,
and throws them away.

When the horoscope,
seems to know,
more about my life,
than I do.

And I'm heartbroken,
mourning for nothing,
nothing now.

Still time for me to educate,
and perhaps graduate,
learn from this.

When the horoscope,
seems to know,
more about my life,
than I do.

Don't want to work no more.
Don't want to get out of bed.
Don't need no horoscope.
Don't need to know.
No, no tomorrows today.
I know tomorrows' today.

Come Back

Don't ask me to turn around,
and come back,
when I just left,
and my eyes are still wet.

Don't need no witness,
to remind me of feelings,
I'm trying to repress.

I make it look easy I know,
smiling and hugs so,
you'll never know,
I miss you so.

So don't ask me,
to turn around,
I'm on my way,
away from you.

Excuses form,
I'm running late,
that'll do,
I've got a date,
perhaps I'll get a dig in too.

So don't ask me,
to turn around,
I'm on my way,
away from you.

Don't ask me to turn around,
and come back,
when I just left,
and my eyes are still wet.

When will he ask me,
to turn around,
and he'll come back,
to what he left,
and make me still,
and eyes still wet?

Try, try, try

Who am I to you?
And why does it matter?
Will I know the truth?
My soul is in tatters.

Don't play with me now.
How will you resolve,
the need to be plain,
and beg forgiveness?

What do you fear?
Be clear.
Stand and deliver.
Cry me a river.

What is the worse?
To suffer unknowing?
Its' raining men,
the tears are still flowing.

Little Known Fact

Little known fact,
I've got some news,
in case you didn't know,
Superman sleeps in the nude.

Man of steel,
likes the feel of silk,
terry-cloth robes,
and all that ilk.

Little know fact,
I've got some news,
in case you didn't know,
Superman sleeps in the nude.

Who'd of thought,
bullets bouncin' off,
he's such a softy
for something soft?

Little know fact,
I've got some news,
in case you didn't know,
Superman sleeps in the nude.

Hey, here's some news,
in case you didn't know,
he is just a dude,
who likes comfortable shoes.

Little know fact,
I've got some news,
in case you didn't know,
Superman sleeps in the nude.

The Same Way You Do

I want to kiss you,
want you to know.

Want to breathe you in,
and have you know.

Want to take your breath away,
I'll have you know.

Want to hold you down,
have my way with you,
the same way with you,
that you do.

Anvil

I guess that fantasy is getting old,
my mind believes but my body knows,
so keep my dreams sheltered from the cold,
a toast that my strength will hold

here here! drink up! be merry!
the time has come,
to forget and bury,
those silly ideas,
from a younger time,
age will temper,
the sharpest mind,
and bend the heart,
to its will,
more practical,
then hope, and still,
hope beats on,
strikes cold iron,
awaiting loves heat return,
lone sound rings out,
in a lone place,
no one else can hear,
tears,
falling like the hammer,
working to make,
something real,
out of will,
and still...

Again

There it is again,
the pain, the pain,
there, see it for yourself,
the same, the same,
there it is again,
that familiar feeling,
washing over me,
again.

Saw you run and hide,
saw you just the same,
Saw you anyway,
the shame, the shame,
there it is again,
that familiar feeling,
washing over me,
again, again.

guess you're better off,
not trying, letting go,
guess my head is soft,
trying, not letting go,
there it is again,
that familiar feeling,
something I'm not hearing,
visions without seeing,
again.

Random Acts Of Rhyming

My needs are simple,
not so my desires,
my will not so willing,
my hopes growing tired,
my dreams are grand,
my reality more mundane,
outlook optimistic,
poured from the bottle again,
I'm great, I'm fine,
in fact, never better,
just something in my eye,
I'm one of the unfettered,
don't need a thing,
happy as a lark,
alone in my bed,
the contrast stark.

Don't Care

Don't care who you were yesterday,
want to know who you'll be tomorrow,
when you wake up,
with me beside you,
will I be your tomorrow,
someday?

Judge Love

Don't care who knows it is you,
that makes me feel so.
Like only you do.
Let them look,
let them stare,
let them testify,
it is you and I.
Don't need some passerby,
to judge,
how I love you.

Likened Too

Analogy,
surpasses me,
the rain against my window,
pain against the looking glass,
of my mind.

Did I say pain?
I meant tears,
falling like rain.

No cloud lasts forever,
although this silver lining,
is tarnished,
considered not worth the effort.

Worth

I'm worth every penny,
never a better deal to be had,
I'm worth every nickel,
you'll be so glad,
worth every dime,
unable to measure,
worth every quarter,
a value to treasure,
worth that and more,
for only a kiss,
and a trip to Paris,
you can have all this,
by showing me what worth my love is!

Desperately

I want to hold your head in my hands,
I want to hear that you missed me,
I want to feel your chest rise and fall,
I want you to desperately kiss me.

I want to be wanted,
wanton love,
sore with desire.

I want you to know my longing,
to burn with love,
darkness's sacrificial pyre.

I want to hold your head in my hands,
I want to hear that you missed me,
I want to feel your chest rise and fall,
I want desperately for you to kiss me.

Listful Lust

Pleasant distraction,
at the end of an erection,
what direction,
does that take me?

Strap jock,
with bulging cock,
hot, hot, hot,
not now, don't stop.

Spastic,
with a wet dick,
where I went,
was beyond me.

Time returns,
lust burned,
emotions yearn,
for more than this.

Faded

I've seen the old barn,
mandala faded,
too much to be maintained.

I've seen the old men,
spirits faded,
too much to be maintained.

I've seen things,
come and go,
rarely to be renewed.

I've seen us,
differently,
and find I don't remember you.

I've seen the old barn,
fall apart when no ones' looking,
time will tell,
how well maintained,
our relations stand,
as is or built anew.

Was I?

Were you lonely last night,
because I was.
Did you want someone near you,
because I did.
Did you have trouble sleeping,
because I did.

Looking out my hotel window,
miles away from home,
rain, wind, people scattering,
makes me feel alone.

Disconnected,
busy work,
no rest for the weary,
sometimes it hurts.

Have you

Can I have you,
when no one wants you,
It'll be untrue,
because I do.

Don't care where you've been,
how you are right now,
as long as where you're going,
is with me.

My poetry wasn't about you,
it was about me,
which was about you.

Your choices weren't about me,
they were about you,
which was about me.

Can't you see it doesn't matter,
what is mine or what is yours,
we isn't either you or I,
It is us, I serves you, I the latter.

I'm With You

Even though I don't know where you are,
I'm there with you.
Even though you don't know where I am,
I'm there with you.
Even though you can't speak to me,
I'm there with you.
Even though I want so desperately to speak to you,
I'm there with you.
Even though I wonder if you care,
I'm there with you.
Even though you wonder if I care,
I'm there with you.
Even though I think of you when I'm sad,
It is because it makes me happy,
Even though you didn't know these things,
I'm with you.

Now now

Now,
miles away from where I was,
weeks away from where I was,
with due consideration,
no celebration,
but realization,
all that distance,
all that time,
still the same,
now.

Ergo Ego

This wonderful experience,
based on you,
it was me,
I believe.

Not who I was,
not who I am,
all the same,
It is good to know.

I was happy,
I am happy,
I will be happy,
happy ego doesn't exist.

Today I...

Today I hate you,
having to do it for myself,
baby sick and I have to work,
have to do it by myself.

Today I hate you,
awaking all alone,
ecstasy by myself,
have to do it by myself.

Today I hate you,
up early to make the time,
got to get into work,
have to do it by myself.

Today I hate you,
no kisses, no hugs, no love,
because no one needs me,
have to do it by myself.

Don't Know No

Don't want to hear about,
your new friends,
as I used to be,
one of them.

Don't want to know about,
your troubles,
since I became,
one of them.

Can't have sinner without sin,
or laughter without the fool,
now I just have lovers without the love,
empty memories of you.

Don't want to know, no.
Don't want to know.
Don't want to know,
where your heart now goes.

Don't want to know about,
the fun you've been having,
can't be glad for you just yet,
my heart beats on but I'm saddened.

Don't want to forget,
I met you when I was alone,
tried my best to put you first,
myself is all I'd ever known.

Can't stay and be happy,
cut your losses and be strong,
too much to hope,
you'll ever admit you're wrong.

Don't want to know, no.
Don't want to know.
Don't want to know,
where your heart now goes.

What Will You Do Now?

Knowing death is certain,
knowing the time of death is uncertain,
what will you do now?

A Moment Friend...

A moment,
if you please,
a moment,
all the ego needs,
a moment,
friend,
a moment,
weekend message,
a moment,
somehow lessoned,
unshared,
ego turns inward,
for a moment,
is no friend.

Temptation

Simple banter,
shared expression,
pleasant distraction,
temptation,
in an offer,
simple,
shared,
pleasant,
tempting.

Close Enough

Matched colors,
happenstance,
shirts,
from the same time,
and place,
close enough,
to humor me,
the mere idea,
unashamed,
and on purpose,
perhaps not,
but I'll pretend.

Our Song?

Looking for the key,
the little things.

Sentimental pressure points,
where the balance is tipped,
pivot point,
for a life together.

If we could find a way,
walk a mile,
in my shoes,
I walk the line,
got my own song,
others sang it for me,
before me,
but it was my song,
maybe.

Wanting

Wanting,
to bury myself in you.

Restraint,
with a hug and a kiss,
makes the longing,
sweet torture,
gathered,
for one day,
when I,
can vent my release.

Pains me

Pains me to see you,
pains me to leave you,
each visit,
self-inflicted,
less painful,
knowing,
I've survived before,
makes it easier,
to believe,
I can,
do it again.

Realizing

Realizing,
how you were afraid,
to speak your mind,

how many times,
did you speak,
to others of it?

Of your plans,
to confront me,

and never do so,

you left,
unhappy,

because,
you never tried.

Unrecognized Longing

Do you miss,
those who went before you?
Remember them,
and the tale they tell.

Contrasting,
You are still able,
to love.

Ghosts longing,
for the chances,
you may never take.

Nether whispers,
suggest your fate.

Warnings,
to live,
to take,
take and give,
mistake,
and forgive.

These things,
they call to you.

Breathe,
you can breathe,
play the violin,
before they play it,
for you.

Spread your arms,
welcome life!

Let your life,
trumpet loudly!

Herald your death,
as a welcome rest!

May the years seem long,
before your final notes,
are authored.

Matched set

Words,
like in a dream,
easily forgotten.
What time is it,
time to move on.

No longer lonely,
but waking alone,
time to change,
repair,
that which is broken,
fix,
myself up.

For we had,
a matching set,
of two.
Now you have you,
and I have I,
one each.
Matching pillows.

Hold tight,
dear pillow,
supplicant,
for a king sized bed,
for a place to lie my head,
for rest,
perchance to dream,
to hope,
for someone,
to make the bed,
with me,
still in it.

The Way

The coward's way,
too hard,
so just give up.

The fool's way,
not remembering,
tricked again.

The callous way,
not caring,
not worth being cared for.

The thinker's way,
not knowing,
judging they are right.

The lover's way,
understanding
the coward,
forgiving
the fool,
careing
for the unworthy,
faith
without judgement.

Do. You.

Do you remember the bed,
When it was warm,
Do you?

Do you remember my arms,
Still warm.
Do you?

Do you remember,
I still love you,
Do you?

Do,
You remember?
My heart is still warm.
Do.
You!

Yours For the asking,
Do.

Empty picture frame

Got an empty picture frame,
which you can see,
I use to keep a picture,
of someone that meant,
the world to me.

Got an empty picture frame,
you've noticed, I see,
what you may have never known,
its because,
I keep that picture with me.

Folded lines,
don't detract,
from the times,
or memories.
Sad loneliness,
obscures the viewing,
much more than that.

Got an empty picture frame,
got no one to honor,
got an empty heart,
much to my horror.

Got a chocolate candy bar,
keep it just in case,
it tempts me,
as i wait for you,
as the picture frame,
awaits.

Who did you give your time to?

Where did you spend your time?
Where did you waste your days?
Did you not know of your crime?
Not knowing to give what can't be saved.

Time doesn't exist,
but doesn't listen to that,
we don't exist ,
so we exist in fact.

What did you care to try for?
Who did you dare love?
Why didn't you try to forgive?
When did all fall to love?

Rusting

No knight,
in shining armor,
my defenses,
all rusted.

Chinks
in my armor,
no love,
where lust is.

Strange,
when friends,
become strangers.

Stranger still,
that we,
can accept it.

Want to Be Worthy

I want to be worthy
of red roses
I want to be told
of red roses
promises
of recognition

I want tears
to wash away
the pain
not to be
harbingers
of storms
unspent

I want those
that miss me
to tell me
so then
the missing
is changed

I never
wanted anything
materialistic
as much
as I want
this things

Up on a pedestal

Wasn't your fault,
I put you on a pedestal,
to admire.

Wasn't my fault,
when you started to fall,
I'd desire.

Who is to blame,
knowing blame doesn't help,
is a lesson long,
long in the coming,
knowing faults doesn't help,
there's nothing wrong,
with mistakes regretted,
forgiveness,
so easy to obtain.

I have loved you,
and thus still do,
can't control you,
and thus still do.
I am just like you,
and thus still do,
love you

Nothing sacred

Didn't bring them home,
Like home was sacred.
Didn't bring them home,
desecrated your temple,
just the same.

Seconds

Who was second?
When I made you first?
Ten times as much love
wouldn't have changed
what it was worth.

Choice is first.
love before now,
not worth more,
knowing love before,
doesn't less love now.

Who was second?
When I made you first?
Ten times as much love,
wouldn't have changed,
what you were worth.

Where do all the tears come from?
And when done,
where do they go?
Who controls them?
And how do i hurt them?
I think they must know you,
must be a friend of yours,
some sympathetic mission,
supporting you not me.

Who was second?
When I made you first?
Ten times as much love,
wouldn't have changed,
what I was worth.

Drinkin'

Whiskey sours
after hours
lack of rest must
mean I'm wicked
no lack of comfort
if you mean southern
ice melts
falling in place
while my needs
evade me still

Fuel for You

You can't blow out a fire,
even when passion's flames,
have died down,
long slow burning,
crimson embers,
brightening with your breath,
should you come close,
and farther away,
the heat,
can still be felt.

Sounds Like Laughter

Unwrapping chocolate,
sounds like laughter.

Dharma DJ

Don't believe in sin,
but do believe you're guilty,
don't you know we must be,
the change we want to see,
made in the world.

pain takes time to mend,
and it pains me you're so busy,
don't you know we must be,
we change the us that is we,
swines examining pearls.

So here I sit again,
can't you see you hurt me,
don't you know we must be,
I change you and you change me,
anitya is our world.

Closer To The Truth

You can't keep pictures,
to keep your friends closer,
thinking of them,
they'll never know.

Pictures,
don't mean they are near,
only works in death,
even then,
not so well.

Pictures,
Longing and fondness,
no replacement,
for closer.

Pictures,
emotional responses,
in isolation,
they hear nothing.

Pictures,
are a reminder,
to take time,
to get closer.

Examined Life

Didn't know,
that finding yourself,
involved,
finding a piece of ass,
or,
being one.

So,
busy changing,
your life,
needed distractions,
when,
do you find the time?

Never answered,
why,
references,
without explainations,
could it be,
the why,
didn't matter?

Dark and Sticky

You would think,
after years,
of love,
the time,
between the new,
would be,
a ratio,
of how much,
love was lost.

At a loss,
of words,
at a loss,
of love,
at a loss,
of control,
at a loss,
of love.

I'll Let You Go

Because we aren't saying,
anything,
I'll let you go.

I called because,
I don't know,
I'll let you go.

Past are memories,
knowing,
I'll let you go.

What I wanted,
not now,
I'll let you go.

Where longing,
music box,
reminds me,
happy,
sad memories,
you and me,
happy memories,
thinking,
of you,
but no me,
regret,
where happiness stood,
I guess,
I'll let you go.

I Miss You Everyday

Just thought about how the obvious,
Is overlooked by the best of us,
And things left unsaid,
Often are misread.

Else before I say anything,
We speak on everything,
Let me just say,
I miss you every day.